Out of Hiding

Remember the last time I hinted about my knee? That Monday it took a turn for the worst and I experienced something I never could have imagined: pain so bad I could barely walk.

And was promptly taken off of work.

I'm not going to lie, the last two weeks have been a roller coaster. I didn't know how to express what I've been going through. I didn't know what to say, how to say it, how to believe in myself.

It's only now that I'm on the mend that I am properly able to convey my emotional pain. The inability to walk (although temporarily) cut me down a few and the fact that I wasn't working exacerbated my crumbling self-confidence. The physical pain was (is) certainly still a factor and also didn't help things, but once that was an afterthought -- about 3-4 days now -- the real healing began.

I want to quell any concerns about my knee. It needs NO SURGERY  (yay!) and all that happened was that I damaged the cartilage under my knee cap. Physical therapy has been a God-send and just today I was promoted from crutches to a cane!

Me, at 25.
Original found at: http://dreamstime.com/

It's been a journey so far and it's not over yet. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I am grateful for the experience. It taught me to be more patient, to really take care of myself and listen to my body.

Even if that means using a flipping cane when I walk.


Happy Healing,

Senator

Weekly Round-Up #8

2/25/13-3/3/13

The weeks bleed from one to the next, it feels. I can't tell one day to the next lately, but I'm getting through. I've been pushing myself pretty far and now that I got my knee injury my body is trying to tell me to slow down, to go easy on myself. Still, I push... Old habits are hard to break, I suppose.


Days Without Meat
0 -- I ate chicken in a moment of hunger and weakness. I nearly threw it up. Lesson learned. 

Weeks of Consistant Running
6 -- Do I keep this number or should I start over once I've healed? 


Days Meditating
5

Miles Walked / Run
Due to my injury, I am unable to run or walk for exercise. 


TOTAL = 0 MILES                                              TOTAL FOR YEAR = 23.91 MILES


Book(s) Read

The Perfect Power Within You by Jack & Cornelia Addington (Still reading, this one is for an 8 week class. Yippie!)

Unbroken (#2) by Paula Morris (read, review to come. Thank you Scholastic and NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC.)

Married by Mistake by Abby Gaines (read, review to come)

The Nightmare Affair (#1) by Mindee Arnett (thoroughly enjoyed and read, review to come. Thank you Tor/Forge and NetGalley for providing an e-ARC.)

Kundalini Meditation: The Path to Personal Transformation and Creativity by Kathryn McCusker (read, review to come. Thank you Watkins Publishing Limited and NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC.)

The Lost Husband: A Novel by Katherine Center  (still reading. Thank you Random House Publishing House and NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC.)

Happy Living,

Senator

Knee Sprain

Well, I suppose it was inevitable, but I've sprained my knee this past Wednesday. It is minor and is my first "major" injury of my life. While it might be minor, knee sprains can physically and psychologically trip you up. Here are a few things I've learned in the past four days.

1. R.I.C.E is Your Friend: Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation are all VITAL for a speedy recovery. They might be annoying, but they help so so much. For more detailed  information on R.I.C.E please click here. 
2. Your Whole Body Might Get Sore: This one was a major surprise to me, but in retrospect it makes sense. It might happen right away, or after the shock has worn off. For me, it happened exactly 24 hours after the incident had occurred and nearly knocked me on my ass. Take care of yourself, this is just an indication that your body is healing. Give it rest. 
3. It's OK to Cry -- or Not: This may or may not happen to you. 36 hours after the incident occurred, my body began to be overstimulated, and easily taxed. Since I'm normally a pretty tough chick when it come to physical ailments (and promptly pushed myself to the limit, dummy), my body chose to release all that extra energy through crying. Hooray! Ride it out, it'll pass quickly -- I promise. 
4. Anti-Inflammatory Medication is also Your Friend: Now, I know some of you out there are anti-medication and while I'm with you most times, ibuprofen saved my behind on this one. It's not just a "pain reliever" in this case. It really does help the swelling go down. Side perk, the pain does go away and you can walk...ish.
5. Test Yourself, but Don't Push It: You're feeling good, you can kind of walk again and so you try to walk with full (normal) pressure on the affected leg. A few strides, no problem, so you go further. OK, a little pain, no biggie -- a few more steps. Then.. HOLY MOTHER OF POTATO PIE! Suddenly you're hobbling back to the nearest seat. Listen to those little pains, and stay in tune to your body. It's natural to test yourself when you're feeling better, but you could severely re-injure yourself in the process. Tred carefully. You'll heal. 

That's all I've got for now, but Monday the doctor tells me whether or not I have to do physical therapy or not. I'm PRO physical therapy, because those people are miracle workers when it comes to future preventative care. 

Happy Healing, 

Senator

Weekly Round-Up #7

2/18/13-2/24/13

Originally found at http://bookhimdanno.blogspot.com/ 

This past week has been more about thinking than physically doing.


Weeks Without Meat
7

Weeks of Consistant Running
6


Days Meditating
3

Miles Walked / Run
Tuesday =  2.4 mi warm up / 3 minute run + 3 minute walk / 5 min run + 2 min walk / 8 min run + 2 min walk / epic cool down


TOTAL = 2.4 MILES                                              TOTAL FOR YEAR = 23.91 MILES


Book(s) Read

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (read, review to come)

The Perfect Power Within You by Jack & Cornelia Addington (Still reading, this one is for an 8 week class. Yippie! "Everyday Dharma" is put on hold)

Sever (#3) by Lauren DeStefano (read, review to come)

Welcome to Temptation (#1) by Jennifer Crusie (read, review to come)

  This is NOT a Drill by Beck McDowell (read, review to come)

  Orphan Train: A Novel by Christina Baker Kline (read, review to come. Thank you Harper Collins for sending an ARC to Bookstar, Studio City.)

  Unbroken (#2) by Paula Morris (still enjoying. Thank you Scholastic and NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC.)











Happy Living,

Senator

Weekly Round-Up #6

2/11/13-2/17/13

From Dune by Frank Herbert

Oh my my my my! Sorry this is late, just like the rest of the week yesterday seemed to fly right on by! Things are rapidly a-changin' here in the house of Senator and it is all goooood.


Weeks Without Meat
6

Days Without Dairy
this whole "no dairy" thing isn't going so well for me, actually. Mostly it's the hidden stuff, like whey in things in bread. Fooey!


Weeks of Consistant Running
5 (!!!)


Weeks Meditating
1

Miles Walked / Run
Friday =  1.89 mi (2 min warm up / 3 min run + 3 min walk / 4 min run + 3 min walk x 2 / 3 min run + 3 min walk / cool down)
Saturday = 1.71 mi (warm up / 3 min run + 2 min walk / 5 min run + 3 min run / 3 min run + 2 min run / cool down)
Saturday = 1.39 mi (run to work and back. 15-30 min break in between)


TOTAL = 4.99 MILES                                              TOTAL FOR YEAR = 21.51 MILES


Book(s) Read

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (still reading, I'll be making my end of February deadline)

Everyday Dharma: Seven Weeks to Finding the Buddha in You by Lama Willa Miller (Week two! This will be on my reading list for a little while...)

Let Them Eat Cake (#1) by Sandra Byrd (read, series review to come)

Bon Appetit (#2) by Sandra Byrd (read, series review to come)

   Piece de Resistance (#3) by Sandra Byrd (read, series review to come)










How do you find balance when life seems hectic?

Happy Living,

Senator

A Week Since the Break-Up/ Weekly Round-Up #5

2/4/13-2/10/13

A few things before we continue. There was no weekly round-up 4 posted, but it still happened, hence this is #5. Moving on. Yes, last Sunday I was released, broken up with, dumped. Due to our dynamics and my experience of the relationship it took me a night of little sleep to accept it. I cried, I leaned on everyone I could and was supported unflinchingly. Thank you again. I hold no ill will towards him and seek only the good points to be replicated in a life partner.

What I mainly learned was to care for myself. I have been working on the physical, now it is time to uproot the mental. All those negative subconscious beliefs I had let run my life are rapidly --and forever -- being let go of. It is a practice of honoring myself that will stay with me a lifetime.


Weeks Without Meat
5

Days Without Dairy
1 (Previous to my ice cream binge, I was up to five)


Weeks of Consistant Running
4 (I reserve the right to pat myself on the back, oh yes)


Days Meditating
1

Miles Walked / Run
Tuesday =  1.48 mi (2 min run + 2 min walk / 3 min run + 3 min walk x2 / 2 min run + 2 min walk / 5 min cool down)



TOTAL = 1.48 MILES                                          TOTAL FOR YEAR = 16.52 MILES


Book(s) Read

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (still reading, I'll be making my end of February deadline)

Everyday Dharma: Seven Weeks to Finding the Buddha in You by Lama Willa Miller (this will be on my reading list for a little while...)

Promises From God's Word for Women (Mini Review: I love this book. It has helped me to pray again. Highly recommended)

Etiquette & Espionage by Gail Carriger (read, review to come)













Have to ever had a difficult moment that helped you overcome something?



Happy Living,

Senator

I'm Taking a Break

Hello lovies of the internet. As of Sunday, I got some very heartbreaking news and will need time to recuperate.

I need time to collect my thoughts.
I need time to FEEL the blessing of this (there's quite a difference between knowing and doing. I'm going for the doing part).
I need time to figure out who I am and how I want to achieve lasting happiness.
I need time to Love myself, fully, gently, beautifully, without worry of another.
I need time to feel OK again (I'm getting there, woo fast snap-back).
I need time to be comfortable with myself.
I need time to learn how to eat again.
I need time to be.
I need time to choose to not suffer -- OK, this is more I need time to cultivate the ease of change.


I just need time for me.

And that means no internet, no blogs, no outside chatter. I thank you all for understanding.

Running Alone

Fair warning, this is a long, slightly unhappy post. Moving forward.

Running, for me, is a solitary sport. Time restrictions do not allow me to run with a local group and, frankly, I'm not there yet. For me, where is does not become so solitary are the races. That's when I get to share my love of running with my friends and family, hopefully, and meet others along the way.

My mother has attended two of my races, my father one, and I have gone to one race all by my lonesome. What is the difference between the Turkey Dash that I ran without any spectators and the Color Run that I will have to run tomorrow alone? The Turkey Dash was in my hometown -- Thousand Oaks, CA -- and I actually met up with people at the start and finish line that just happened to be running too. The Color Run will be at Dodger's Stadium, a place that I have never been to in a city I already don't like.

That's why I asked a friend to come along. I had rose colored glasses on at the time. They are a night owl and I somehow persuaded them to wake up and come down with me for a 9am run. Speaking with them earlier in the week, I had the glasses off, and I quickly saw how cruel I was for asking. So I gave them an out and they took it. Add to that a long, hard week. Full of self-imposed stress that has resulted in infrequent eating, little sleep, physical clutter that is disgusting, and general anxiety about everything. This smallest hiccup has my already fragile house crumbling and I am conflicted about going to the race tomorrow. Will I run, train for my 10K? Of course.  But the idea of going to a race that is all about color and fun and friends when I don't have anyone I know to share it with... cuts me down a little.

I guess we'll see how I feel tomorrow morning.

A Real Runner

I've been sitting on this for a while. The week has passed, the heat has gone and been replaced with cool, sunny weather. The answer to, "What makes a real runner?" still evades me slightly.

I think the answer is different for everyone. And I still don't feel like a real runner because I haven't even completed a third week in a row (yet). For me, the feeling of being a real runner is, like everything else, about consistency. It doesn't matter how many miles I've logged, or how many races I've signed up for and completed... it's about the pattern of consistant, everyday self-care.

Thanks sportsclipart.com for the free use image

It's also about encouragement.

I was in a particular funk running one day and disgruntled about the monotony of my surroundings... missing the hills, suburbia, and green of my hometown -- really not liking city life, essentially. All while this was happening, my mental thoughts just trailing downward, I happened upon a nice little stretch of "suburbia" without many cars, and more friendly pedestrians.

Jogging towards me was a woman dressed in neon pink and black, her posture and stride clear to anyone that this was just another jog. Another day to do what she loved. And me, shyly looking at the ground, then up at her, puffing out as I start the running portion of my workout, hobbling ungracefully towards her. And yet, she smiled. Her smile was wide, inviting, encouraging without saying a word.

That to me makes a real runner.

She had no judgements towards me. She, a fit veteran, was inviting me into a not-so-secret club. She gave the impression that she loved what she did -- run -- and wanted anyone who wanted to try, to join in. It didn't matter I was no where near to her athletic ability, or stylish ensemble (which, oh my gosh I could drool over so many cute athletic gear), I was still a runner in her eyes.

Which helps me see that too.

Happy Running, 

Senator

Weekly Round-Up #3

1/21/13-1/27/13

Nothing too special about this week -- relaxing, actually. Onward!

Weeks Without Meat
3

Days Without Dairy
1 (I've officially had an intolerance attack -- time to put my big girl panties on and accept my fate!)

Miles Walked / Run
Wednesday = 1.46 mi (5 min warm up / 1.5 min run + 1.5 min walk x4 / 1 min run + 1 min walk x2 / 5 min cool down)
Friday =  1.73 mi (5 min warm up / 1.5 min run + 1.5 min walk x4 / 1 min run + 1 min walk x2 / 5 min cool down)


TOTAL = 3.19 MILES                                          TOTAL FOR YEAR = 8.46 MILES


Book(s) Read
I'm slightly amazing myself with how much time I must spend on books, reading this much...

Kundalini Meditation: The Path to Personal Transformation and Creativity by Kathryn McKusker (still reading. Thank you Walkins Publishing & NetGalley for this opportunity!)

Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause (re-read, still enjoying)

The Storyteller's Daughter by Cameron Dokey (re-read and completed, review to come)

The 13th Sign by Kristin O'Donnell Tubb (unfinished, meh.)

Running Within: A Guide to the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection for Ultimate Training & Racing by Jerry Linch, Warren Scott (rough start, still reading)

In the Shadow of Blackbirds by Cat Winters (read -- LOVE, review to come. Thank you Amulet Books & NetGalley for an advanced read!)

What were you up to this week?

Happy Living,

Senator

Running Crack

My training for my 10K starts this week and I've been mentally preparing for this for a while, apparently. See that picture, to the left? With all those running books (that doesn't even include the three e-books)? Yeah, I bought most of those within the span of the last 2 1/2 months.

Because I live in Southern California and apparently am a weenie for the cold, I've taken some time off from running. A long while. To fill up that running hole I've turned to books about said activity. Have I read each of them cover to cover? Naaah. Do I drool over more training books and pine to buy more soon? Of course!

Photo from fitnessrepublic.com

They get me into the mood of running. They get me jived about wanting to wake up an hour early and hit the pavement. They show me I'm not alone when I'm cranky and see the sun is not out and want the comfort of my own, warm bed. They tell me it's OK to go slow. In fact, they endorse it. As a beginner who used to be an intermediate this is a hard pill to swallow.

When you're pushing your body too hard, it's time to take a break, and that's what I did. I trained too hard, set my bar too high, and I fizzled completely. I firmly believe that any physical activity is 90% mental and 10% physical so if you're even thinking about getting up off that couch and haven't yet, it's OK. Read blogs, buy cute running clothes, read training books for men, for women. Read inspirational books about your favorite athletes. I guarantee you'll be over the moon and chomping at the bits to follow through and take those baby steps if you do. Whenever and however you take your first step, that's perfect.

Happy Running,

Senator

Running: An Introduction

I must confess.

I'm a runner.

I'm not an expert, or advanced (yet), but I put one foot in front of the other just like the best of them. I just happen to go slower and shorter distances.

I caught the running bug freshman year of high school. I loved it and I was hooked.

[insert awkward picture of teen with braces here]

Pictures are all at my parent's house, and therefore unavailable at present. 

Then senior year hit and suddenly I stopped.

Over the years I've started. Then stopped. And tried again. It wasn't until the Awesome 80's 5K that it truly stuck. It made running real.

Mere minutes after finishing

Rank: 1139

It's taken me many stops and starts to get to this point. A point of peace, of knowing in my heart of hearts this is something that will be part of my life for the rest of my life. And the best part? I'm just getting started.

Question of Note: Do you struggle with your passions too? What thing or things do you do for yourself that you couldn't live without?